in all my life, be glorified;

Feb 1, 2009

Regret

In this one week,
I faced a multitude of regret.

Nothing i can change.
But what if i had...?

What ifs never work, and never will.
All i can do now, is pray for her safety.

THE ARROW & THE SONG
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

I shot an arrow into the air,
It fell to earth, I knew not where;
For, so swiftly it flew, the sight
Could not follow it in its flight.

I breathed a song into the air,
It fell to earth, I knew not where;
For who has sight so keen and strong,
That it can follow the flight of song?

Long, long afterward, in an oak
I found the arrow, still unbroke;
And the song, from beginning to end,
I found again in the heart of a friend.

Charmaine Wong, pm/text/email me quick :/

Posted at 11:25 pm by extradelicious
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Final Goodbye

I couldn't believe how stoned i was at the airport.
My surroundings seemed so surreal, and my mind was blank of emotions.
When we met in my mum's car i was still happy-go-lucky,
Still believing that there was still time.

At 9.30pm, you decided to go.
I wasn't prepared.
I never talked to you abt this, i never helped you get over your fear.
I just encouraged you, silently.
The magnitude of emotions hit me when i hugged you, right before you went into the immigration point.
I was taken aback, cause i had this whole slew of words to tell you, but tears choked me and i couldnt say a word.

We waved goodbye from behind the glass,
Watching your every move.
You turned back 3, 4 times? And every single time, i felt myself getting pulled apart from you.
I called you after, and i started to cry again.

Take care of yourself.
Don't get fat.
Study hard.

That's all i could think of.
There was just too much to say, too many thoughts overflowing my mind.
Take care. Don't get fat. Study hard.
I know you will. (:

GOODBYE CHARMAINE WONG YUTING.
When you come back, we'll be an adult cellgroup already and 24 years YOUNG.

I'll miss you though.

Posted at 12:24 am by extradelicious
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Jan 30, 2009

Goodbyes

I've had the feeling of someone walk out of my life (literally) once before.
That day i cried and cried, as if a part of me had left.

For the past few days i've been having council cause Orientation's about to begin.
There's so much to do and so little time.
To say i enjoy staying back to do council stuff would definitely be a lie.
I would rather invest my time in somewhere more impt, or someone more impt to me.

Someone who would willingly take a backseat in my life,
And not domineeringly step in to invade my timetable, to INSIST i spend time with her,
Yet always be there when i needed her.
She was always free for me, but i never was for her.
Even during her last month and weeks in Singapore, i could never vacate a timeslot just for her.
What a friend.

Someone who's been with me through thick and thin.
Someone i've had arguments and quarrels with.
Someone who could put up with me not spending time with her.
Someone who understands me, talks to me, helps me.

In about 12 hours, im gonna lose her.
She's not ever gonna bother me to buy her more SAJC stuff again.

And right now, im trying to rush her present.
What kind of friend does that, tell me.

A busy one.

Posted at 11:28 pm by extradelicious
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Jan 29, 2009

Come here! Come hear!

Amidst all the emoshit in this blog:

http://saintsarcanum.blogspot.com/

Check it out! :D

Posted at 10:23 pm by extradelicious
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Jan 28, 2009

This happens once every term,

My termly breakdown.
For whatever reasons, it's just safer not to ask.
It's also safer to just not talk to me.
This is the period of time where im self-indulgent, and if you come to me with problems, i can't lift a finger.

It doesn't help when people suggest things that cannot and will not come to pass,
Especially since they themselves don't practise what they preach (metaphorically, this has nothing to do with church).

The only one who can help me is you,
But let's face it, i can't even find time to see you.
I can't even find time for myself anymore.

I don't even have time for Charmaine who's leaving this Saturday.

How much more pathetic can my life get?

Posted at 11:29 pm by extradelicious
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Jan 25, 2009

Back in Black

Since there's nothing much going on in my life except school and hmk, exams and council, i shall post very random facts about myself.

Just because.

1) My wardrobe consists of black, white, gray and blue.

2) I am a procrastinator.

3) I always steal food from people.

4) I watch cartoons every day (Nickelodeon, Cartoon Network, Disney Channel etc)

5) I have an obsession with Disney princesses and fairytales.

6) My chinese sucks.

7) I usually give up reading books halfway.

8) I don't like texting/talking on msn.

9) I'm directionally-impaired.

10) I'm perpetually broke.

11) I'm really picky with my food and i hate GREEN veggies.

12) I chopped around 4 inches off my hair on Friday.

13) I am a replica of my mum.

14) My results fluctuate.

15) I fall down really often.

16) On both occasions playing tchoukball, the ball hit my nose on both times.

17) I have been hit by batteries while watching Bryan play soccer. (Someon$e kicked and the batteries flew out his pants or something, which landed straight on my head)

18) I have lotsa scars on my legs cause of dance, or mostly cause of the falls.

19) I always cause things to fall while shopping (eg shoeboxes, piles of clothes etc).

20) I reared 20 hamsters and all ran away.

21) I was really nerdy when i was young.

22) I don't know what to work as in the future (taitai?)

23) I play mahjong at least once a week (WITHOUT MONEY :D)

24) I'm a stickler for accountability.

25) I am not good in any subject.

The school week started painfully, and as it progressed, sihui and i felt so lost in that jail we call SAJC.
All we aim to achieve there are good A level results, and after that, it's basically just university.
Then work.
Then marriage.
Then children.
Then work.
And die.

Thank God for the long weekend He's blessed us with,
That sihui and i can just chill at home and collect angbaos (hehe).
But with the end of the Lunar New Year comes more goodbyes.

First, Samuel's going into NS (that's not really a goodbye, but you get the idea).
Then, Char's leaving.
And just now Chih Chiang said he's leaving too.

Great.
More friends gone.
I'll be stuck in boring ol' Singapore, struggling to score for my 'A's.
AWESOME.

There's nothing much to look forward to, honestly.
But well, live a day at a time, and don't worry about the future.
Cause He's there (:
Every, single, step.

My Life, Your Song

Verse 1:
WHOSE HANDS ARE THESE
HOLDING MY TRAPEZE
WHEN I FLY
YOU CARRY ME
WHOSE EYES ARE THESE
WATCHING OVER ME
EYES OF LOVE
THAT SET ME FREE

Pre-chorus:
UNAFRAID
WHAT'S AHEAD
YOU ARE ALWAYS THERE BEFORE
MY WHOLE WORLD
YOUR DESIGN
YOU ARE ALWAYS THERE
JUST RIGHT BEHIND

Chorus:
MY LIFE IS YOUR SONG
TO YOU MY HEART BELONGS
LET ALL EARTHLY CROWNS
FADE IN THE SHADOW OF THE CROSS

MY LIFE IS YOUR SONG
I'LL SING FOR YOU ALONE
NOTHING IN THIS WORLD
CAN TAKE ME AWAY FROM YOU
OUR LOVE GOES ON AND ON

Verse 2:
WHOSE ARMS ARE THESE
SHELTER ME FROM HARM
IN THE STORM
YOU ARE MY CALM
WHOSE VOICE I HEAR
WHISPER IN MY EAR
WHEN I'M LOST
YOU'RE ALWAYS NEAR

Bridge:
IN ALL MY LIFE
BE GLORIFIED
WITH CHRIST IN ME
NO LONGER I
SO TAKE MY ALL
CONSUMING FIRE
YOUR LIGHT IN ME
I'LL LET IT SHINE

Posted at 06:24 pm by extradelicious
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Jan 24, 2009

Pissed Off

I'm partly delusional, partly logical.

Posted at 03:34 pm by extradelicious
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Jan 14, 2009

HUH. WHY?

I don't know why people say im bimbotic, or blonde.
Am i? :/

Correct me if im wrong, but aren't bimbos or blondes supposed to be like, attractive?

Alright.
Into serious issues.
I was talking to Tiffany today after Open House,
And she asked me whether i thought she was introverted or extroverted.
After replying her, i asked her the same question.
For once in my life, someone has said to me,
THAT I AM INTROVERTED.

Haha. Introverted.
Something never in my dictionary.
But just the inkling of someone saying im INTROVERTED,
It kinda scares me to think how much i've changed since AHS.

it's true though.
It's much harder for me to make friends and be who i really am.
I really am someone who talks alot of rubbish and goes off topic all the time.
I never make any sense, and i just laugh at everything, anything.

Who is that serious, BORING girl that's taking control over my personality?
I think so much more, which makes it hard for me to communicate my thoughts over to other ppl cause i dont open my mouth. Weird huh.
Right now, im re-reading all my words to make sure i make sense. Seriously.

I used to enjoy discussing poems randomly, just suggesting meanings and linking rubbish to make the poem more interesting and much easier to rmb.
"RRAAAAGGGEEEEE RAAAAAGGGGEEEE AGAINST THE DYING! Of the light... *faints*"
Right now, i have to organize my thoughts and link everything together,
Character analysis and scene significance.
Baaaaah.
Where did all the fun go?

Where did I go?

Posted at 10:37 pm by extradelicious
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Jan 7, 2009

End of My Holidays

To me, today is officially the end of my holidays. :/

That's cause im leaving for council camp from thursday to saturday, missing service in the process.
Having to attend Sunday svc in the morning (ah craaaaaap), i mark the end of my holidays tonight.

WHICH MEANS I HAVE TO SAVOUR EVERY. LAST. DROP.
:D

SO CLOSE

You're in my arms and all the world is calm
The music playing on for only two
So close together
And when I'm with you so close to feeling alive

As life goes by romantic dreams will start
So I bid mine goodbye and never knew
So close was waiting, waiting here with you
And now forever I know, all that I wanted to hold you
So close

So close to reaching that famous happy end
Almost believing this was not pretend
And now you're beside me and look how far we've come
So far we are so close

How could I face the faceless days if I should lose you now?
We're so close to reaching that famous happy end
And almost believing this was not pretend
Let's go on dreaming for we know we are
So close so close
And still so far

Posted at 10:57 pm by extradelicious
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LAMENTATIONS

www.teeful.com

So, school's starting in 5 more days.
Hurray. I hate school.

The holiday's been sssooooo awesome.
My mum, dad and grandma's been out of the house since 2nd Jan, so technically the house has been void of adults since then. :D
The sad thing is the days go past ALOT faster, which suck. ):

Uggghhh. And not to mention,
HOLIDAY HMK AND MSAS.
AAAAAHHHHHHHHH.

Posted at 12:15 am by extradelicious
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